means

I don't know what it all means
The toing and froing
Taking me out at the seams

It pulls you one way
The next
Pushing them up
Like dead mens bones after the flood

Pressure like the drowned weight of memory
I recall the breath, the glance, the requests of habit
Washed away now, circling that drain
Of monstrous miscalculations.

A bitter taste, toast left too long by the fire
Singed eyebrows and fingers burnt
I'll never know if it was too much or not enough
And again, and again, and again.

poison

A twisted knife in the
Darkness.

I choose not to see the spreading
Poison.
It taints the terrors I wake to in nighttime
Walks. The running and fleeing from domestic dread.

You left it inside me without my knowledge.
A curse paid forward of neglect and un-care
We thought in royal plural but there was never a pair.
Just spinning atoms in that slant of light,
Certain only of that predetermined end.

So all that is left are questions and ticking
That purple thread weaving through my days
I know that hiding is no way to move
But what else can i do.